Thursday 26 March 2009

My Achilles Heal

I've now been off work due to rupturing my Achilles heal for nearly three months. It happened whilst playing football on a cold Friday evening and as I settled on the sofa the following day I compiled a list of things I wanted to achieve with this gift of time that had dropped upon me so unexpectedly. Here a few things off that list:

- Improve my guitar playing.
- Improve my piano playing.
- Write lots of songs.
- Learn about sound engineering.
- Study the Welsh revival.
- Get closer to God.

At best I have to say that only some of the items on my list were mildly achieved, but the one that has really got my attention now that I'm looking back is the 'Get closer to God' one. Friends who've been through a similar situation have told me that the time was a blessing in disguise as they were able to grow closer to God. I wouldn't question this for a second. However, in my case what I have learned is that man can't control God. I can't plan out when God is going to do anything. There are times and seasons for everything and God alone dictates when you have growth spurts. I was naive.

This isn't to say that I've felt far from God and have been wandering through a dessert of loneliness. Quite the contrary, what I have found is an amazing peace and rest bite. I feel that I'm on the brink of starting a new season in my life and these few months have been amazing, as I've shed some burdens and anxieties. There have been lows as well of course, as my spirit continues it's battle with the flesh, but I guess the bottom line is "bring on the next step".

Monday 23 March 2009

Not in my strength

Through the years I've heard teaching, from a Christian perspective, along the lines of "If you want it badly enough you have to make it happen. Its up to you." and "If you're sick of things being the same then CHANGE. If you're struggling with an issue then CHANGE". There are aspects of this teaching that I agree with, as I know we can't sit back and wait for God to make it all come together for us, but absolute teaching along this line is misguided, in my opinion.

Throughout the whole of the bible the principle has been that God gives someone a vision or instructs someone to do something that is far beyond their ability to make happen in their own strength, then they and God do their part together to see it through. This way God gets ALL the glory. I'll use Gideon as an example.

Gideon was a nobody, probably quite insecure in who he was, who was minding his own business in the background. He didn't consider himself to be anything yet the Angel of the Lord appeared to him and called him 'Mighty Warrior' (Jusges 6v12). He is instructed to "go in the strength you have" and is told "I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites together". Sure enough, by stepping out and doing as the Lord commanded, with a mere 300 men he triumphed over an army of men "as thick as locusts".

My point is that in our own strength maybe we could accomplish something of some significance, but by hearing and obeying God, and giving him what little we have, we can accomplish many acts of great significance. In HIS strength.

As I sit at home with a mashed up foot, with time to ponder my future and my personal vision from the Lord, I'm mindful that the vision is way beyond anything I could do through a sheer act of willpower, but also that I need to be creative, proactive and sensitive enough to hear God's instructions, and then to see them through.

Biblical backup: Philippians 4v13, 1 John 4v4, Judges Chapters 6 and 7.